THE NOW SOUND

It is normal for us to try our very best and still fail. We can come with the purest of intentions and still hurt the person across from us. We can be quick to judge and slaves to our egos – for we are only human.

Now being human is something we all have in common yet it is the element of diversity, opinion, and bias that separates us. I’m sure none of us were raised to do harm to one another but rather to be kind and loving. So why is it that there is so much hate in this world?

We learn from our experiences. Understanding is gained through trial and error whether that may be a lesson of trusting someone only leads to mistrust or that a certain ethnicity comes with certain stereotypes. Sometimes, we don’t even realize that we have judged someone’s intentions or even them as a person before we have any clarity. We will never get rid of our bias and judgement unless we reach enlightenment but even then, who is to say we are immune to our human impulses. With that said, we can only learn to acknowledge and live with them and understand that everyone else does too.

When you judge another, you judge yourself. To say “she is ugly” translates to “I am prettier than her”. “All men are cheaters” is a limiting belief that not only insinuates that all men cannot be trusted but also suggests that women don’t cheat. When I finally realized that my judgements were not only a reflection of what I saw on the outside but directly mirrored my opinion of myself, I felt as if I woke up from a daze. Here I am thinking that I am so self-aware because I know who I am but until I recognized that I am not as good of a person as I thought, I felt change stir inside me. Who am I to say that I am better than anyone else? That my situation is better or that I am more justified in my perspective. My passive and snide comments do not serve a purpose in my life. Full disclosure, the thoughts still cross my mind from time to time but I don’t let them do so without thinking about “what is that saying about me?”

People will hurt us. Sometimes intentionally because they have been hurt in the past and other times unintentionally because of what they see true. Are they wrong? No, they are only human. We cannot control the actions of others. We can control how we react in return. Might that be a practice of self-regulation, the method of communication, or the action of forgiveness. Flipping the driver next to you after they cut you off is a form of communication and may make you feel good at that moment but at the end of the day, hurt people hurt people.

My wish for you, the person reading this, is that you have the courage, the forgiveness, and the strength to stop the cycle of hurt and if you are ever to fail, I hope you find compassion for yourself. The biggest reminder is that you are human too! We aren’t going to act perfect all the time and that’s okay as long as we try to do better. Same thing goes for those who may act human towards you; may they also try to stop the hurt. Being human is not bad. It is natural.

Especially in the world we live in. We all need to heal. Not as different races but as one human race. As Mahatma Ghandi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world,” and change does not happen overnight. There is a process we must honour. Remember, we are only human.