THE NOW SOUND

Emotions and feelings are commonly used interchangeably but when you look at them more closely, there are some slight differences to be aware of.

Emotions are objective and happen to us instinctively. Depending on who you ask, emotions may vary. According to the Junto Institute for Entrepreneurial Leadership, the basic emotions that we feel are love, anger, sadness, fear, joy, and surprise as illustrated above. Emotion starts in the mind and turns into physical feelings in the body. Emotions have the ability to hinder us or drive us forward. Many people to this day struggle with identifying how they feel and managing them.

Feelings are more subjective than emotions are. Feelings are conscious thoughts that describe our emotions and is a cognitive interpretation to an emotional response. Talking about our feelings helps us further our understanding of ourselves and helps us better to express to others. The way one may feel can be influenced by their past experiences and understanding. Remember, feelings are subjective. You could be sad and while you know that what you are feeling is unwantedness and loneliness, your partner may think that you are numb and withdrawn.

I believe that this is where a lot of communication gets lost in translation and sometimes we keep missing each other. I remember being an angsty teenager and my parents did not know what to do with me. Their once happy daughter has become full of hatred and loathing. I was mad a lot. Other days, I was sad. I knew how I was feeling but I didn’t have the words to describe where that emotion was coming from. I had no coping mechanisms to express my disdain so I acted out a lot. My poor parents had to weather “Hurricane Kat” until one day, I finally agreed to talk to a professional about my feelings and emotions.

That is why more and more people seek coaching or counselling. I love how, over the past couple decades, there has been more focus on our emotional and mental well being. It is no longer taboo to talk about your feelings especially for the male population. Manliness is no longer measured by your rigidness but for your ability to be fluid in your feelings and manage them. To better understand your feelings ultimately brings more clarity into your life.

When it comes to relationships, and I don’t just mean romantic, there is the option to go as a couple so both points of views can be shared with less fear of someone getting hurt and your point not being heard. Mediation is beneficial when trying to come to an understanding and parties may be too personally vested in their position so a mediator can help bridge the gap. Couples or partner coaching/counselling help the partnership grow in the same direction and furthermore. For example, two business executives can receive coaching in order to help their business grow. A mom and her child could see a counsellor together because family can be hard to deal with.

There are no such things as right feelings or wrong feelings. The spectrum that you will go through in your lifetime is all of the above. The important lesson is to have the awareness in order to regulate the actions you make. Allow yourself to acknowledge that you are angry at this moment. Find a way that works for you where you can release your frustration constructively – it could be working out or screaming into your pillow. Know that there is no rush to stop being angry. Take your time and try to think of what’s causing it. You might not have control to change what made you mad so you will have to get through it. The beauty and the curse of life is that nothing is constant except for change itself. Be prepared for the highs and lows. Just know that you are not alone.